Moving on but not quite letting go

I think Roger's last post really set the tone for where we are right now. Every day is STILL a roller coaster. Time is strange too. January seems so far away. AGES ago. One of my projects this week was to pull out some of our pictures from the Make-A-Wish trip and put them in scrapbooks. We had a few wonderful donors/friends who made three scrapbooks for us with Disney themes. I printed up just a sampling of our favorite pictures and filled in some of the pages. Looking at those happy memories, it was hard to believe that less than a month after we took that trip, she would be gone. And it's so hard to believe that she's only been gone for 5 months. Sometimes it seems like years. Sometimes it seems like a dream (or a nightmare).

This is a week for projects because my Aunt Phyllis is here and we are getting some much-needed projects crossed off the to-do list. First on the agenda today was taking a carload of toys and other kid stuff to ASK. We had been given so many gifts: toys, books, dolls, coloring books, lotions and lip gloss. While we used and loved many things, there were other gifts that just sat in the packages because we were (gratefully) overwhelmed. Many things came in at Christmas time and by then, all Charlotte wanted to do was read and sleep. So we decided that we wanted these toys to be loved and I can't think of many causes better (or closer to our heart) than ASK. We also hauled some "gently used" stuff off to Goodwill and I have some more clothes to pass along to a little girl who loves the girly dress-up stuff almost as much as Charlotte. The good news is that passing along some of these things doesn't seem to hurt nearly as much as it did during the last round. We are taking our time with letting go and I know that is healthy.

Now that her room is being emptied of toys and clothes, we are going to fill it with CJSTUF materials. Her closet will now be home to many things for the foundation (which up until today were being stored in my dining room!) so it will be a used and usable space filled with memories of my girl! I will post pics when it's done.

The crazy thought that slammed me in the face this week (as my Facebook friends know) was that I actually found myself wishing for the hospital routine. I have often been thinking lately of our journey to Houston and the crazy experience of living in and out of hospitals for pretty much a full year. I never thought I would miss it but I kind of do. When I tried to figure out WHY I would miss something so draining and horrible I realized: at least she was there. She was sick and uncomfortable and subjected to procedures I couldn't even imagine but I could hug her and kiss her and talk to her and love on her. I spent the past year wishing that I could leave the hospital but I'd go back if I could see her again. I told you it was crazy.

Thank you to all our friends and family who continue to support us in so many ways. I really appreciate that so many people are looking out for us in both big ways and small.

Before I close, a few items of business:

1. The Tupperware sale will end next week so please get your orders in. You can go to this link to place your order OR come to a Tupperware party at MY HOUSE next Thursday 6/24 at 7 PM. You can sample the products and talk to a REAL, LIVE, Tupperware consultant to find what you can't live without. 40% of sales go back to CJSTUF so this is a great opportunity to get a wedding gift, housewarming gift, or just a little something for yourself! Email me if you have any questions.
   
2. LET'S ACTIVATE THE NETWORK: Please vote for our Romp n' Roll employee, Samantha Dickenson, to win a Dream Baby Shower from RichmondMom.com. You can go HERE to place your vote by June 20th (Sunday). We would love to see her win.

Roger is still training for the marathon and (literally) working his tail off. More news on that to come. More CJSTUF events in the embryonic stages so look for more coming soon this fall!