Peace Train...Crazy Train...Love Train

So we made it to November.  Oh my goodness.  There is SO much to share and talk about with CJSTUF I don't know where to begin.  I think I will just direct you to the website.  Your attention please to the following announcements:

• First and foremost: VOTE!  Yes, Election Day was yesterday but CJSTUF has applied for a Pespi Refresh grant.  We are hoping for $50K to help us get the CJ's Meal Fairies program off and running.  We need EVERYONE's help.  Voting can happen through Facebook, the Pepsi Refresh website, or text 103934 to PEPSI (73774).  Most importantly, you need to vote EVERY DAY.  We are currently ranked 352 and we need to crack the top 10 to win.  Tell all your friends.  Links to the site are on our website. 
• Did you get an email from us recently?  If not, sign up for your email newsletter here.  If you don't follow us on Facebook or Twitter, it's another great way to know about all the things we are doing.  We will try not to harass you with spammy emails but we hope this will be another way to keep everyone up to date and informed. 
• Start your holiday shopping with our jewelry auction.  Twenty-one original pieces created by Sarah Blankenship of Crystal Paintbrush on ebay.  Just search for CJSTUF to find the pieces.  100% of the proceeds will benefit our organization and eBay credits our listing and final fees so it's a great way to support our organization.  Each piece was inspired by Charlotte and many feature pink and purple Swarovski crystal butterflies. 
• Wanna see a DUDE run the Richmond Marathon  in a skirt?  If we raise $3000 before November 12th Roger will don the pink skirt and wear it as he runs all 26.2 miles!  The goal is $10,000 total.  We can do it!
• Citations for CJ is coming November 20th.  This is an easy way to support our organization.  The Alpha Phi Omega chapter at Randolph Macon is building our jail and our celebrity judges are getting ready to hand out their "verdicts".  Come on out for a fun morning and donate from the comfort of your own car.  Tell your friends!
• Finally, our Biz of the Month is our corporate sponsor, Jade Enterprises.  This family business specializes in web design, web hosting, data management, and many other business applications.  Jade Enterprises is donating 25% of all contracts signed during the month of November to CJSTUF.  If you run your own business and are looking for a great way to improve your web performance and visibility in the marketplace, please give them a call. 

Now that the business is out of the way, let's talk.  It's been a crazy year.  As we approach the end of 2010, it seems that my emotions are ramped up as well.  November 6th was the day last year when we learned that there was nothing else we could do.  That was the day that we had to accept what we had seen coming down the pike for about 5 months: the treatment was not working.  We prepared to say goodbye to our girl. I miss her so much.  I know that many of you do too.  I look at her pictures every day and I just think: DAMN.   

I don't understand why she is gone and I don't think it's fair in any way.  I am so grateful for the time I spent with her, especially the last 10 weeks of her life.  We were so blessed with the generosity of friends, family, and strangers who moved mountains to bring us amazing experiences: pro football games and field trips to the aquarium; meetings with Giant Pandas; horseback rides in our cul de sac; spa days at the salon; the most amazing Disney World vacation that a kid could ever have (slight aside: have you seen the new Disney commercials where they show the home movies of  the kids who get all excited when they hear they are going to Disney World?  It makes me cry every time.); days sitting by the ocean; days spent reading and singing; days when her firsts were often also her lasts. 

Some of you know that I took the opportunity this past weekend to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity (and/or Fear) in Washington, DC.  It was a fun event with tons of people.  My aunt and I were squarely in the middle of the craziness and we were fortunate to fix ourselves in front of a jumbotron so while we couldn't see the stage directly, we got a great view of the event.  Great music, funny sketches, and a throng of people to watch.  If you've seen the show on TV, you know that there was a bit where Jon Stewart brought out Yusuf Islam (AKA Cat Stevens) to sing Peace Train.  Not to be outdone by "hippy music", Colbert brings out Ozzy Osbourne for a rendition of Crazy Train and a musical mashup ensues.  Finally, the compromise is to bring out the O' Jays for a unifying version of Love Train.  It was a creative skit.  It also seems like a somehow apt metaphor for my life right now. 

We feel so supported and comforted by our friends and family. That Love Train  is pushing us down the road, allowing us to give back through CJSTUF and to support others in their individual journeys.  At the same time, no matter how much love we feel, I'm still rockin' and rollin' on the Crazy Train.  Each day the stress in my life continues and every stressor is like a freight car adding to the length of the train.  It weighs down each aspect of my daily responsibilities and threatens to derail at the slightest hiccup.  Sometimes it takes three engines just to make the train run on the track.  There are times when I feel the Peace Train coming.  I have moments when I sense its presence and I hope that someday it will be the guiding force in my life.  Someday I hope to leave those freight cars at the depot or abandon them in the railyard.  Then my engine will run smoother, faster....more peacefully.  For now, the Crazy Train seems to rule the roost. 

Anyway, thanks for all the love and support.  The holiday season is going to be rough this year.  We've already acknowledged it and sometimes that's half the battle.  The more you do to support our cause, the more we are able to feel at peace with what is, in all honesty, a crappy situation for everyone involved. 

Peace!

Mood Swings and The Double Marathon Challenge

Roger here,

Our trip to Colorado was really wonderful and I can't tell you how great it was to see my beautiful niece, Cerisa, walking down the aisle all grownup and stuff. She's a married woman now. Congrats C-Weed! It was an honor to sing at your wedding.

There were some very bittersweet parts, though for obvious reasons. CJ should have been there.

Coming back to Virginia was actually kind of tough on me for some reason and I'm still not completely over it. I've had quite a few "moments" the past few days and it's been harder than usual to think about Charlotte and what she had to go through. Tuesday was the worst day I've had in a long while. It all started when I was looking for a template of the CJSTUF letterhead and came across the letter I wrote to Disney. It was all downhill from there. I was loosing it at the drop of a hat and really feeling a distinct lack of self control. I had to sit in my car in front of Romp n' Roll for a few minutes and let it all out of my system before going in (probably feeling a little sorry for myself, I must confess).

The strange thing is, the moment I walked into Romp n' Roll, I started feeling better. Rachel was teaching my Babies! class because I had to come in late and it was so nice to see everyone laughing and playing. All the positive energy really bolstered me.

Another thing that doesn't help is that it popped into my head how we used to gauge Charlotte's pain level. The scale of 1-10 and the happy-to-sad face graph really didn't work for her but she would respond pretty accurately when we asked her if her pain level was "a little" (thumb and forefinger apart), "a lot" (hands spread several inches apart), or "alotalot" (hands spread wide apart). I so hate the fact that we had to use that system. Any system at all for that matter.

I've had a few more ups and downs since then but nothing like Tuesday. I'm sure it's just my every six month meltdown that comes about once a month or so now. I'm sure getting back into running will help that.

Hey I think I smell a segue!

Some of you may have heard about my "Double Marathon Challenge" (or "Double Marathon Madness" as Rachel calls it) where I will be running the Chicago Marathon in October and then the Richmond Marathon in November all to raise funds for CJSTUF. Well, training begins on Saturday! How would YOU like to be involved?

We'll need TEAM CJ members for spirit groups along the routes of both marathons and if anyone else wants to run in any of the races (there's also the McDonalds 1/2 Marathon, HCAVA 8K, and a Kids Fun Run in Richmond), let us know. Anyone raising $1,000 or more will get registration fees reimbursed!

I'm tweeking the pledge form to include a few extra choices. (More on that later but think "VT vs UM!")

It's a three day a week program that worked very well for me a couple of Richmond Marathons ago. Anyone is invited to come running with me. I will be running every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning bright and early Starting at 7am. Short runs to start off adding mileage as time goes by.

If anyone isn't part of an official training team, feel free to come out and mosey a while with me. I might be going slow but at least I'll be going.

I would love for some Richmonders to come with us up to Chicago and/or Chicagoans to come down to Richmond for the respective races. It'll be a heck of a party in both cities!

Did I mention my goal is $10,000? I really have no fear that we won't reach it.

Here's a great idea that I'm shamelessly stealing: PLEDGEWARS! I think most of you know that Rachel and I are both graduates of the University of Miami and when I'm not bleeding orange and blue for the Denver Broncos or green and yellow for the Packers, I'm mixing them and bleeding orange and green for the "U." For some strange reason, I have run into a certain amount of resistance from people in this part of the country; especially from those turkeys in Blacksburg. Well, to be fair, I want to give all you Virginia Tech fans the chance to show me who's boss, I'm throwing down the gauntlet. If VT fans raise more money than UM fans then during the Richmond Marathon, I will wear either a turkey outfit or neck-to-toe, including socks and underwear, Virginia Tech garb (I shudder at the thought!). The hat will be a pink or purple Charlotte hat no matter which side wins.

C'mon Canes! You must save me from this fate. We will be keeping a running tally going and we'll have to see what colors I wear on November 13th! Stay tuned.

Here's a GREAT memory we have of Charlotte: When we would say, "We've got some Canes over here," we taught Charlotte to say "Whoosh! Whoosh!" If that's not inspiration for you, I don't know what is.

Last but not least, Coco's Chocolate Dream Chocolatiers, the company letting us use "Chocolate Makes Everything Better," has begun making butterfly chocolates! I don't think I ever told her about the butterfly connection. Please go to her website and thank them or just say hi from a CJ fan. If anyone wants to do a "Chocolate Stand" as a FUN-raiser, let me know and we'll get it set up.

Thanks for letting me rant. I'll keep searching.