Tuesday, March 30, 2010

There's No Such Thing As "Closure"

That word should be stricken from the Earth. I think people who throw around the term, "closure," should be forced to watch interpretive dance chronicling the Middle East peace process...in REAL TIME...while having to pee.

(Look at that, already digressing)

Warning, long rambling post ahead.

The Richmond Jazz Society answers the phone or greets audiences at official events buy saying, "Bright Moments" by request, and in memory of local jazz legend, Joe Kennedy, Jr. I've always liked that. It's a simple thing but it has helped center me every now and then.

I could certainly use some centering right now. The ups and downs and the swings from light to dark and back again are kind of getting old.

Rachel and I are still trying to juggle everything (CJSTUF, moving the business, wrestling with bills, the many other responsibilities and chores we have) while not killing each other, and the "CJ moments" keep happening. Pretty frequently these days. They aren't all bad, some are downright heartwarming. Like the child at Romp n' Roll yesterday who took a castanet, opened it up, and held it to her ear like a cell phone that flips out. Charlotte did that all the time very early on. It made me stop and do an inward, "Awwww." I even showed it to another child tonight.

But as I was driving home from a very long day of ups and downs, it really nailed me between the eyes that I will never hold her again. It was just a very sad thought as I headed north. It's nothing that debilitates me or makes me curl up into a fetal position (decidedly inconvenient when driving) but it still really, really sucks.

On top of that, we keep finding out about new members of "The MCV Vacation Club." They don't really have to be at MCV, just battling cancer.

Lots of musician friends are having biopsies or radiation or chemo or all of the above. One in particular is Judy Kushner, wife of Gantt Kushner, music engineer of the two Uptown Vocal Jazz Quartet CDs and Ginny's solo CD. A beautifully spiritual family. Judy just had surgery for brain cancer. From Gantt's reports, she's doing very well and has started PT and OT. Please feel free to contact them as they can use the support (moral and otherwise). He also has a FB site: http://www.facebook.com/gantt.kushner and his studio is called "Gizmo Studios"

There's also a little boy named Ricky who just moved onto the 7th floor and is now under the care of Dr. Tye. He's got TWO tumors working and they aren't the same kind (can't even fathom the odds of that happening). They came down from a homeless shelter up north and have very little. I haven't had the time to give them the attention they deserve but they at least are hooked up with the names of people and organizations that could help them. They all need your positive energy.

Thanks to ASK, Starlight, Reesestrong, Child Life, LINC and the other organizations helping them, and other children, out in one way or another.

Out of the blue today, a child at Romp n' Roll To Go said, "Mr. Roger, I'm sorry your son died." (a little confused, maybe, but very touching nonetheless). I think it kind of freaked out the staff person assisting me which I actually found slightly amusing.

There are some good things happening; part of the "swings to the light." The money keeps coming in for TEAM CJ. The Monument Ave. 10k has now brought in somewhere between $5,000 and $6,000 and still counting!

We didn't win the Spirit Group contest but we had a great time and those who won were very deserving:

This is froom an email from the Sportsbackers -

"According to the judges from Hirschler Fleicher:

First Place Winner - All Saints Catholic School

Second Place Winner - Martin Luther King, Jr. Middle School

Third Place Winner - Dance Masters Diva Dance Team"

NEXT TIME!!! Sat, April 2, 2011. SAVE THE DATE NOW!

Free Babies and Toddlers week at RnR is going gangbusters! It's been great seeing all the new (literally) faces. (still waiting till someone comes in looking for their free baby)

Chick-fil-a is holding their 3rd annual Cow Drop on May 8 at the Hanover County Airport. Tickets bought at the VA Center Marketplace CFA will benefit CJSTUF!

Guess this isn't as long as it could be. It's still rambling, though.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Mainly for the Cheer Team

This message is mainly aimed at anyone participating or helping with the Cheer Team. Important announcements! Please email Meredith Hayes with specific questions. If you can send her a quick note to let her know you are coming, that would be appreciated.

The weather should be SUNNY but CHILLY! Please try to wear a long sleeved tee and/or layers UNDER your Team CJ shirt (rather than a sweatshirt or jacket over) so that our team shirts can be displayed proudly. If you have butterfly wings of any kind, please bring those to wear. I may have a few extras.

We are between Tilden and Roseneath on Monument so we'll meet at the Arthur Ashe Statue at 8 AM. Rachel will be at the statue to meet everyone and will handle clean up duty.

Decorations:
Meredith will be picking up signs tomorrow required by the race committee for us to decorate on Friday night. Please bring markers and other craft materials to the spaghetti dinner. There are balloons provided by the race committee and Meredith will pick them up Saturday AM.
Please bring a large mylar butterfly balloon if you can, found at any Ukrops or Kroger grocery store. Party City has some as well.

Meredith has large butterflies that need to be put on sticks and she will bring those Friday to the spaghetti dinner.

Music and "noise":
If you have any creative ideas for a special cheer, bring it to share on Saturday with copies to distribute. We will have music to play from a portable boom box.

Giveaways: A last minute but fun idea....let's try to get as many pink and purple mums and/or daisies to give out to runners. We know we can't get enough for all runners (30K+!) and, quite honestly, most of the hard core runners won't take one BUT I think the walkers and slower runners would love one. If anyone knows of a good source for inexpensive bulk flowers, email Rachel ASAP. I will try to get as many as I can before Saturday.

We don't have a confirmed number of who is coming so please just come and bring all of your buddies! Kids welcome! I have heard judges are dispersed throughout the race so we don't have a specific time to be the best, we just have to be the best the whole time!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring can really hang you up the most...

This blog post will be a mixture of emotion and business.

So let's get the "business" part out of the way...

First of all, I am VERY excited to announce that we are opening our application process for CJSTUF Financial Assistance Grants. We will be giving out 20 $500 grants to families of children with chronic and life-threatening illnesses this year. Our efforts are focused this year on patients served by VCU Children's Medical Center (known to most of us as MCV). As cash flow allows, we hope to extend our geographic reach as well as the number of families we can assist.

Applications will be sent very soon to all pediatric healthcare providers and social workers at VCU Children's Medical Center. In addtion, the applications will be available on our website shortly. The first application deadline is May 1st with the first disbursement to be given on June 1st.

Second, a huge thanks to everyone who came out to Alice in Wonderland at R-MC this weekend. The event raised almost $1200! Emily Arnold and The Wonderland Players were fabulous so a HUGE Tummy-Drum Roll to them (you had to be there to understand).

Now, regarding the Carbo Cram Spaghetti Dinner on Friday evening:
I think our major needs right now are for
  1. Spaghetti sauce (non-meat)
  2. Desserts
  3. Salad dressing and parmesan cheese (a few bottles of each should do it)
  4. Garlic bread
  5. Drinks (I'm thinking iced tea and fruit punch drink mixes with pitchers will do nicely).
We have been receiving donations of pasta and a few people have promised me meatballs, sauce, and bags of salad. In addition, we have all the paper goods/flatware/tablecloths, etc. needed for the event.

Please bring any donations of food, etc. to Romp n' Roll by NOON on Friday OR contact me or Roger so we know that you are bringing stuff with you. That way we will know if we need to do any shopping right before the event to fill any gaps. If you are helping with cooking or setup, please be there by 5:30 pm if possible.


Ok, business done.

To echo Roger's post, it has definitely been a roller coaster of emotions lately. Letting go of (most of) her clothes was really strange. I thought I would be ok with it. I had given away lots of her clothes before when she outgrew them and had even given away many of her toys before she died. Somehow looking at ALL those clothes and realizing she would never wear them again...realizing that some of the clothes had never even been worn...and realizing that there was no need to replace the outgrown clothes. Altogether, it just broke my heart.

That is my biggest and most constant struggle is seeing loss in seemingly mundane daily activities. Things that I had taken for granted are now exceedingly painful. Walking into Target and seeing the beautiful Easter dresses only to realize that I don't have someone to buy them for....that hurts.

I still have HUGE piles of stuff in her room that need to be distributed but I think it will have to go in phases. I just don't have the time (or the energy) for a big cleanout. At least it's contained (thanks, Phyllis!).

I've had some interesting songs floating through my head that seem to capture the mood. One is I'll be Seeing You. A nice version. Not the creepy Tom Waits stalker-esque version...

The other is Spring Can Really Hang You up the Most:

Once I was a sentimental thing

Threw my heart away each spring
Now a spring romance hasn’t got a chance
Promised my first dance to winter
All I’ve got to show’s a splinter for my little fling!
Spring this year has got me feeling like a horse that never left the post
I lie in my room staring up at the ceiling
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Morning’s kiss wakes trees and flowers
And to them I’d like to drink a toast
I walk in the park just to kill lonely hours
Spring can really hang you up the most.

All afternoon those birds twitter twit
I know the tune, this is love, this is it!
Heard it before and I know the score
And I’ve decided that spring is a bore!

Love seemed sure around the new year
Now it’s april, love is just a ghost
Spring arrived on time, only what became of you, dear?
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Spring is here, there’s no mistaking
Robins building nests from coast to coast
My heart tries to sing so they won’t hear it breaking
Spring can really hang you up the most!

College boys are writing sonnets
In the tender passion they’re engrossed
But I’m on the shelf with last years easter bonnets
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Love came my way, I hope it would last
We had our day, now that’s all in the past!
Spring came along a season of sun
Full of sweet promise but womething went wrong!
Doctors once prescribed a tonic
Sulphur and moloasses was the dose
Didn’t help a bit, my condition must be chronic
Spring can really hang you up the most!

All alone, the party’s over
Old man winter was a gracious host;
But when you keep praying for snow to hide the clover
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Strange how timely those lyrics seem right now. Personally, I tend to think the lyrics should be a little cruder. Pardon my French but Spring can Really %*$& You Up the Most...

Yeah, that's more like it.

I don't know what it is about Spring. Maybe it's just the concept of change. Changing seasons, changing health (damn allergies), things just moving along. Somehow it all gets my emotions running at full keel and the smaller things can set me off. We move on and life keeps going but the pain doesn't really go away. And it seems to flare up every now and again (like right now). I actually really like Spring (normally). I think it's my favorite season and it's one of the reasons why I DON'T live in Florida anymore. I love the concept of changing seasons and while Floridians will tell you that the seasons change there, it's just not the same. Seeing those bare trees and the brown ground explode into a colorful wonderland is nature's version of that magical moment in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy leaves her tornado-spun house and the world explodes into color. It's magical. Sometimes I think THIS is when we should celebrate the New Year. Not in the cold, dreary days of January. It also means, though, that life is moving on and if you don't get on the train, you'll be left behind. Once again, we are passing through the year thinking of what was and reminded that it will never quite be the same. Maybe that's it. We keep wondering when it will stop sucking quite so much. I'm not quite sure it ever will.

I am very grateful that we still feel surrounded by love. People are constantly checking in with us to see how we are and I do appreciate it. There's not much that will change our situation right now so I keep doing what I've been doing for the last year: one foot in front of the other, keeping myself busy. Really, what else can you do?

Speaking of busy, I have a to-do list about 6.2 miles long (that's a 10K joke for all you runners out there...) so I will sign off for now.

Don't forget to pick up your Team CJ shirts (at Romp n' Roll till 2 PM Friday...OR at the Carbo Cram Friday night!) and we'll see you on Monument Ave!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Roller Coasters Aren't My Favorite Anymore

Wish I had more time to write but I need to get to Romp n' Roll for the afternoon classes.

This weekend has been a massive up and down and back again ride. Not all that fun I might add. And it has continued today. Can't blame it on the weather as it has been beautiful before today.

My entire existence is just plain tired. "Face it boys, I'm pooped!" Going from great classes and super positive child successes where the parents are sending emails and letters thanking us to the bottom of the pit because I hear a song or see a video that reminds me of how much I miss Charlotte. From seeing/hearing about how excited people are about TEAM CJ and the 10K this weekend to weird scheduling snafus that make everyone look bad. From a child who very clearly tells me he doesn't like me or why I'm in his classroom (a first as far as I can tell) to finding a bag of money on my desk from a child who wanted donations given to CJSTUF instead of birthday presents. The list goes on and most of it shouldn't sway me that much either direction but I think my defenses are wearing a bit thin.

One of the hardest parts of the weekend was that a bunch of clothes got cleared out from Charlotte's closet. It's not like we haven't given stuff away before; her toys have gone in a couple of waves and though it was sad, it wasn't as gut wrenching for us as giving away the clothes. Rachel put them into nice neat bags and they were ready days ago but when it came time to take them downstairs the world fell apart for a while. Can't say I've recovered.

I'm leaning on the foundation and Romp n' Roll pretty heavily right now. It helps tremendously that both seem to be developing nicely. Thanks to everyone helping to keep us afloat financially, emotionally, etc...

Gotta go. Wish I could write more...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Your To-Do List for the Week!

This is a busy week for CJSTUF and I am sure many of you will be involved.
Here's a handy to-do list to help make sure you don't miss a thing!

  1. Attend Alice in Wonderland at Randolph-Macon College. Remaining available showtimes are Friday (tonight) at 8 PM and Saturday 2 PM and 8 PM. The Saturday performances benefit CJSTUF and donations will also be taken at the door. Tickets are $5 for adults and $2.50 for kids. It's a very family friendly show! Call the box office at 752-7316 to reserve your spot.
  2. Finish collecting your pledges for the Monument Ave. 10K. Pledges can be mailed to PO Box 854, Ashland, VA 23005. Please have all checks made out to CJSTUF. If you do not bundle your pledges together or if someone is sending pledges separately, please have them indicate your name in the memo line so we know that you get the credit!
  3. Pick up your TEAM CJ T-shirt. T-shirts are available for FREE to those collecting pledges and running/cheering for TEAM CJ. If you are not collecting pledges but you are running or cheering, T-shirts are $8 ($10 for XXL). If you are not participating in the 10K but you would like a T-shirt we are requesting a minimum donation of $10 per shirt. T-shirts can be picked up at Romp n' Roll (Virginia Center) beginning at 9 AM on Monday 3/22. They will also be available for pick up when you...
  4. Bring your family to the Carbo Cram Event on March 26th from 6:00-8:00 PM. You can RSVP HERE to give us an idea of how many people to expect. Location information, etc. is included on the invitation. If you cannot attend the event but want to donate needed materials (food, paper products, etc.), please deliver those to Romp n' Roll by Friday March 26th at NOON. There is a list of needed materials on the invitation as well. If you would like to help with setup or cooking, please be at Shady Grove Methodist Church (Mechanicsville) by 5:30 PM. Based on current RSVPs, I think we are most in need of spaghetti sauce (jars-non-meat), paper products, beverages (tea and punch), and condiments like salad dressing and parmesan cheese. This is a very informal community event so it should be a lot of fun (and maybe even a little bit crazy!!). Finally, don't forget to pick up your 10K race packet at the Arthur Ashe center so that you can be ready bright and early for the...
  5. Monument Ave 10K race. March 27th. Be THERE or Be SQUARE! Runners should plan to meet at the starting line around 8 AM. Roger will be trying to orchestrate a group picture. Please wear your TEAM CJ shirts and/or pink and purple. If you are CHEERING, please email our cheering CAPTAIN Meredith Hayes so she knows to expect you. She can let you know if you need to bring anything. The more the merrier! Cheer team members will be meeting near the Arthur Ashe monument (corner of Monument Ave. and Roseneath Rd.). Look for parking off of Monument Ave in that area. Cheer team should be in place by 8:30 AM. Please wear PINK, PURPLE, Butterfly wings, bring Butterfly Mylar balloons, etc. Please do NOT bring pledges with you to the race as we may not have secure storage space.
  6. Recover from the race on March 28th and 29th! Please submit any final pledges during the last week of March. Again, pledges can be mailed to PO Box 854, Ashland, VA 23005 or can be dropped off at Romp n' Roll.

I think that oughtta do it. As usual, if you have any questions you can contact Roger or Rachel directly. Thanks for your continued support!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Our Board of Directors & a NEW video!

I don't have a lot to report BUT I did have a few items of note:

Our board meeting was this evening. As usual, it was productive. We have a lot going on and I think the next 3-6 months are going to be very exciting for the foundation. We are very close to launching our application process for families needing financial assistance. We will also be moving forward with some exciting fundraising options in the next few months. Have to put some ducks in a row but the wheels are in motion. [Can I use any more cliches?]

As this was our first official Board meeting since the passage of our Bylaws, we needed to hold elections for officers. Our Executive Committee will be spearheaded this year by John Toscano (Chair/Treasurer), Emily Starrett (Vice Chair), and Meredith Hayes (Secretary). I don't know if we have had an opportunity to recognize the members of our Board here, but I suppose now is a good a time as any. The Board is rounded out by the following members: Kim Thies, Pam Myers, Lauren Coe, Jay Campbell, and Dr. Anna Madland.

Our other major announcement is to present a marketing video that we have created. Once we redesign the website, this will be the introduction to the site. There's a copy of it currently on YouTube but it needs a little refining (for some reason the music cut off at the end). You can view the video in its entirety here in the blog and I will post it on Facebook as well. I would recommend having tissues handy though. I created it and have viewed it SEVERAL times and it still makes me a little weepy every time I see it. I guess that's the point, right? Our emotions inspire us to do great things for the greater good.


CJs Thumbs Up Foundation (CJSTUF)



The music is a song called Two Thumbs Up by musician Johnny Bregar. We found him and this song quite by accident (Thanks Cara!) and he has graciously given us permission to use the song within the video. Go buy one of his CDs in honor of CJ. Pretty good kid's music if you ask me!

Poor Roger is feeling the harsh effects of seasonal allergies. Here's hoping he feels better soon!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A very busy week

This is turning out to be a VERY busy week for CJSTUF.

Tonight is the Pampered Chef party for CJSTUF. 15% of all sales will go to the foundation. I understand we already have some online orders (yay! thanks!). If you would like to attend the party tonight it will be at the home of Susan Ferguson (713 Center St. in Ashland). We will be making some yummy desserts that you don't want to miss! (Chocolate??? Of course!) I want everyone to know that I am sacrificing watching LOST live tonight so that I can go to this party. That will give you a sense of my priorities (hee hee!!)

If you want to get an online order in because you are out of town or can't make the party, go to www.pamperedchef.biz/jessicasapron Be sure to enter CJSTUF as the host.

The rest of the week will be filled with the CJSTUF Board meeting (tomorrow) and Emily Arnold's presentation of Alice in Wonderland at Randolph-Macon College. Sales of tickets from the Saturday shows (2 PM and 8 PM) will go to CJSTUF and I understand they will be collecting donations at the door as well. You can call 752-7316 (the RMC box office) to reserve tickets.

Finally, we are still planning the Carbo-Cram Pre-10K Spaghetti Dinner. We have created an EVITE for the event here. Please click on the link if you plan to ATTEND, HELP in any way (cook, setup, cleanup, child care, etc.), or SUPPLY donations of food. Enter your name and email address (and number of people attending) to RSVP. We are using these RSVPs to help us know what we need and how many to expect. When you RSVP, there is a drop-down box that says please select something to bring. You can indicate there what you will be doing to help OR you can type it in the comments section.

Donations of food (nonperishable) can be brought to Romp n' Roll (Virginia Center) by Thursday 3/25 (we're open till 7:30 that evening) OR you can bring it to the event if you are planning to help with setup (about 5:30 PM). This will be a very simple meal (spaghetti, sauce, salad, bread) with drinks, dressings, and parmesan cheese also needed. We are hoping to have about 60-100 people. Families of runners are welcome! Team CJ T-shirts will be distributed at this meal so you will want to be there.

Ok, I think that about sums it up for now. More events on the way in April and May so stay tuned. I am sure that we will have many updates after the board meeting!