Every Day Is A Bonus!

That's one of our catch phrases.

It evolved during Charlotte's treatment out of the realization that we may be spending our last days with her.  It's our statement that no matter how inconvenient it may be to have to wait at the toll booth, or find that a piece of technology isn't working correctly, or to get mayo on your burger (when you expressly ordered one with NO MAYO!), it's all pretty insignificant when compared to the fact that the time you have to spend with loved ones is finite and can end at any moment.

Every Day Is A Bonus!

Like anyone, we find ourselves losing sight of this, occasionally (not very often but it happens).  We need reminders that Every Day Is A Bonus which is why we wear the bracelets, have photographs of Charlotte all over the place, and spend nearly every free moment we have working on/thinking about CJSTUF stuf.

Bedonna Wakeman's piece

The Fall Art Auction is coming up tomorrow at the Cultural Arts Center in Glen Allen and we're all working feverishly to get everything in place.   Besides the fact that it's a cool fundraiser, it's also one of those big reminders.  It's a reminder to us that what really matters isn't how much money we bring in but the fact that so many wonderfully talented artists have donated pieces for our event - everything from pieces of jewelry to a beautiful 4' X 5' painting from Pirate Alley Artist Bedonna Wakeman to a "commissioned" piece from one of our youngest contributors, Ani Checkosky.

These artists remind us that Every Day Is A Bonus!

There are also the volunteers who will be giving of their valuable time to make sure we have an event worth attending.  This includes three live interactive artists who will actually be creating pieces during the event to be auctioned off at the end of the evening.  There are also Brothers of Alpha Phi Omega from Randolph-Macon College, auctioneer Marlynn Turner, and of course, members of our amazing Board who will be helping to remind us.

The generous sponsors and those who have donated in lieu of tickets because they are able to attend remind us.

And the end result of it all,  besides keeping US centered, is continued support of the families in the best way we can with the resources we have been allowed to gather from you.

Now if we have a bit of fun while we gather those resources, can anyone blame us?  Because, "Hey, if you can't boogie, then what's the use?"

Did I mention the chocolate dessert bar with chocolate fountain?  What about the wine donated by Ian at the Caboose in Ashland or the very special surprise that we will be unveiling?  Reminders, reminders, reminders...

Tell those you love that you do.

Every Day Is A Bonus

Even now.

What I MEANT To Say Was...

Here is the text of what I was trying to say at the service today. I did a little on-the-fly editing so it's not exact but most of it is there and some stuff I left out.

I'll let Rachel post her own. Thank you all for coming and being a part of our CJ Celebration.

There Was Just Something About Her

Can’t say it much differently than that. Charlotte Jennie Reynolds was an amazing presence, and continues to be even now. She touched so many people from all over the world whether you knew her personally and got to spend time with her or just met her once or even those who merely saw her picture and heard about her only after she got sick.

We’re not talking a Nobel laureate, world leader, or some guy who did something to get into a history book. We’re talking a 4_ year old kid. One who was no more precious to her parents than these kids down front are to their parents (Maybe our experience has helped them to be more so). There was just something about her.

We all wanted to pour ourselves into her one way or another and one that seemed very popular was her name. Or “names” shall I say.

Charlotte was named after the spider in the classic book, Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White. It’s one of Rachel’s favorite books and one of the first movies I ever remember seeing as a child. Jennie came from the grandmothers. My grandma’s name is Jenny, Rachel’s great-grandma’s name was Jennie and it is her middle name as well. I remember being so proud to tell my Gramses (My nickname for Grandma Jenny) Charlotte’s name.

Even before she was born, she had names.

Once we discovered we were pregnant, we decided we didn’t want to learn the sex so most of what we called “it” was gender neutral or at least both masculine and feminine were given equal time.

I’m sure Rachel will correct me if I’m wrong (and of course I’m wrong, I’m the husband), but I think our first name for her was “Peanut” for multiple reasons. Ya know when you open the peanut shell and sometimes you get three instead of two? That third peanut is an unexpected bonus and we liked using that as kind of an inside joke when something good would happen, like finding a five dollar bill, like finding out we’re gonna’ have a baby. “That’s a third peanut!” It also described kind of what she looked like in the first ultrasound. Others have used it as a name for her independent of our journey.

Next was the “Little Jumping Bean” because as this thing grew inside Rachel’s belly, it became pretty active even before I could feel anything from the outside. As time went by, she would sometimes react pretty strongly to various types of music. (More about that later)

We wanted to reveal the baby news via our annual Christmas letter so we were going to have to keep it quiet for a little bit. Not something at which I excel. I wanted to at least let Grandma Jenny know so I called her up one night to tell her. Well Jaybird (which is another one of her nicknames) was in bed recovering from a recent stroke and I guess I should have waited when there weren’t so many people hanging around her bedside. I told her I had something to tell her and that she couldn’t tell anyone else yet. She said “OK” but when I let her know, she let out such a whoop and a holler that just about spilled the bean right there. Everyone present guessed what I had told Gramses but we still didn’t want to ruin the surprise. So “Zazou” was born.

I went out to Farmington, NM for an early Christmas that year and started weaving a deception for which I’m still proud! I slowly began leaking the news that I had auditioned for The Lion King – The Musical and had won the part of Zazou in the European touring company and we would be moving there for three years starting in the spring. I don’t even know if there IS a European touring company! I have just enough credibility with the few connections I have in the music and theater world that with repetition, I think I got most of the family off the baby track.
Then of course I went and confirmed everyone’s original suspicions the night before I left. After that, CJ was often referred to as ”Zazou.”

Still not knowing what sex Charlotte was, we came up with “The Creature”. That was actually a term of endearment we had for a monstrous tomato plant we had back in Boone, NC when we lived there but that’s another story. What’s important is that the name moved with us and stuck to CJ in utero.

Charlotte LOVED music before she was born. Surprising? J We played Miles Davis’s Kind Of Blue for her (among other things) and often went to concerts where she would boogie in Rachel’s belly like she was dancing the Can-Can. For example: Once at a choral concert at Randolph-Macon College, Zazou was quiet throughout the Chamber Singers and Concert Choir sections of the performance but once the Jazz Vocal Ensemble started up, she started jumping around in there making mommy’s life very interesting! Not sure if she liked the music or not.

So we started calling her the “Can-Can Dancing Creature” which somehow morphed into “Zazou, the Amazing Can-Can Dancing Creature.”


“Mater” was a gift from our friend, Dr. Anna Madland. Charlotte was due around July 25th but due to complications, the docs at St. Marys induced Rachel with Pitocin on Friday, July 8th. I was at WHAN the radio station getting ready for our live broadcast at the Tomato Festival the next day, when Rachel called me and said, “Guess what? We’re having a baby! Today!!!” So I never did that broadcast and Charlotte was born the next day around 1:30pm. Right in the middle of the "Mater Festival!” So that’s where that came from. If you would ask her what ‘Mater was afraid of, she would shout out, “THE GHOSTLIGHT!!!” in her best ‘Mater voice.

And speaking of WHAN, I used to do an afternoon show every weekday and I would often take Charlotte with me. Most of the time, she was very quiet and well behaved. Then again, sometimes, she would just be the wonderful wild and crazy girl that she was and I couldn’t help but put her on the air. Sometimes, she got on accidentally like the time I forgot to turn off the microphone and she went over the airwaves right along with the latest version of Whisky For Breakfast. A gentleman named Charlie I Cry Taylor would come into the station every once in a while to visit and promote one of the many events with which he was involved and, fell in love with CJ. It was he who came up with “CJ The DJ.” Definitely one of my favorites.

Rachel sometimes called her “Doodle Bug”. No real reason that I can tell except that it’s really cute. Just like CJ!

Her preschool friends had a few nicknames for her like, “Char-char” or just “Char” for short and “Custard” which is Strawberry Shortcake’s cat!

She was “Princess Charlotte” and “The Drama Queen” to everyone at Romp n’ Roll

“My Baby Girl” had various permutations but it’s probably the one I used the most. “I love my Baby Girl” or “Yes, my sweet Baby Girl?”

Then there’s “Monkey Butt” which, I must admit, came by much less organically. I think it was the host of Survivor (or was it American Idol? Not sure) who was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show one day and he mentioned that he called his daughter “Chicken Butt.” I thought, “That’s cool! If I ever have a kid, I want to call him/her that!” Unfortunately, Chicken Butt never really seemed right once Charlotte came around and it evolved into “Monkey Butt” somehow. No idea. But “Monkey Butt” it was and she would tell you proudly that that was what I called her. And now I understand the Ululating Mummies have a song called “Monkey Butt.” How exciting!

The last two are known to most of you and probably how she will be remembered forever: “The Caterpillar” and “The Butterfly” The story was simple and thought up while negotiating a rough spot during CJ’s Make A Wish trip to Disney World. We had stopped at a playground in the Magic Kingdom where dozens of kids were running around, playing, climbing, etc... I know Charlotte wanted to go play but she knew she couldn’t do most of what all the other kids were doing and I could feel a very deep sense of frustration coming from her. I felt helpless and kind of just pulled the infamous “Butterfly Analogy” out of my shoe on the spot. I made sure she knew what happened with caterpillars and butterflies and then told her that she was like a caterpillar and that soon she would be changing into a beautiful butterfly but first a cocoon had to close around her. It was already starting to close around her and one day she would go to sleep and when she woke up, she would be a beautiful butterfly. I told her most of us won’t get to be a butterfly for a very long time but she gets to do it before almost everyone.

That must have done the trick because she was fine with just about everything for the rest of the trip. Whatever muse touched me on the shoulder and put that analogy into my head deserves a beermosa. (HA!)

We talked many times after that day about how she was changing. She even occasionally substituted her ongoing Dora, Diego, etc… video plot-point recaps with the announcement that she was a caterpillar and would soon change into a beautiful butterfly. Always preceded by, “Daddy?” Then me: “Charlotte…”

While she could still answer me, I would ask her, “Are you my caterpillar?” and she would nod.

“Are you excited about becoming a beautiful butterfly?”

Nod

“It’s hard changing into a butterfly isn’t it?”

Nod

“I’ll bet you’re going to be the most beautiful butterfly that ever was.”

Nod

“We probably won’t be able to see you, but will you come visit us when you’re a beautiful butterfly?”

Nod

“Want a boot to the head?”

Shake head

That’s about the gist of it.

There are probably many others I have left out or never knew. I’m sure I’ll be hearing of other people’s special, secret CJ nicknames for some time to come.

Gives me something else to look forward to.

We are never allowed to live in a vacuum

Day 7. It's been a week. Feels like a lifetime. The folks in Haiti don't care at the moment. Let's help them out a bit.

I gave blood yesterday simply because it was time and I promised the bloodmobile coordinator I would since I couldn't be there for the Give Back event at Romp n' Roll. Talk about clueless. I knew about the devastation in Haiti but didn't connect it to my blood donation. Now, I'm going to guess that VA Blood Services keeps its blood units in the state but the American Red Cross is a different matter and all the blood donation services are in serious need. I don't know how all that works but it can't hurt to roll up your sleeves and donate blood to whoever will take it. Do it in Charlotte's name if you like. If you go to the VA blood Services office at Insbrook, ask for the lady with the many names (Renee, Erica, a couple others). She got me in and out in 25 minutes!

OR! If a monetary donation is more up your alley, we are more than happy for you to temporarily divert you resources away from CJSTUF and direct them toward Haitian relief.

But be careful! Unfortunately, there are many scammers out there just dying to get their hands on your money.

I'm including links to the donations pages of the American Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders.

It's a real mess down there and they could use the help.

On another front, I've learned that there is a contest at the Ukrop's Monument Ave. 10K for best "Spirit Group." First place gets $300 and there are smaller prizes as well. If you are not planning to run/walk but wanted to come cheer on TEAM CJ, might as well be goofy and make a fool of yourself in an organized format, eh? :-) Reesestrong is doing it too so let's make sure one of us wins first place and the other takes second! Let's keep it all in the family!

The pledge form is in the special events section of the website and if anyone still wants to sign up to run/walk and haven't told me, please do. I'm going to have to get some more registration codes because we've sold out of the original 30!!! YAY!

All pledges can be sent to:

Charlotte Reynolds or CJSTUF
c/o The Reynolds
9 Slash Ct
Ashland, VA 23005

Here's the usual disclaimer: CJSTUF.org is still waiting on non-profit status (Soon...very soon) so as of this posting, donations are not yet tax deductible.

Aunt Phyllis is here and the New Mexico Contingent comes in today along with Dad and Juanita Bonita. Gonna be a monstrous weekend. Aunt Phyllis tried the Wii last night...I think both she and Rachel came close to busting a gut laughing a time or two. It was very good to hear.

Jay got the live streaming worked out and those of you who can't be here can watch it live on the world wide web. There will be a link on the home page soon.

I can't believe what an event this is becoming and we had very little to do with it. It's the amazing network again combined with the faculty and staff of Randolph-Macon College, Duncan Memorial United Methodist Church, the various mom's and dad's groups of Richmond, etc...mind blowing; simply mind blowing.

The good, healthy food is flowing (Wendy, you just HAD to bring those chocolate chip cookies, didn't you? YUMMY!) and we are feeling the love all over again.

Can't thank everyone enough.

Charlotte is still here, sort of.

She's reacting less and less to questions and her breathing goes through these periods of slowdown and then it comes back up. I'm sure this will increase.

Nurse Cathy checked her out today. She said CJ's heart rate is slowing and her body is to the point where it won't take any food/water and wouldn't know what to do with it if it had some. Her blood pressure is very good which means she's in no distress or pain. Cathy confirmed for us that Charlotte would probably pass within the next few days. There will be noticable additions to the website when that happens so that everyone will know without having to read the blog because who knows what shape we'll be in?

Charlotte and I have a certain way of holding hands that I think she got from watching the movie, Wall-E. The concept of holding hands and interlocking fingers became a major theme and Charlotte developed this way of wanting to hold hands with me. I'll assume she did that with others but I'm not sure. Yesterday, she initiated that with me which made my day.

I quite possibly heard her last words the other day as well. I may have already mentioned this but at one point, she actually opened her eyes and said, "Daddy?" (preparing to tell me a plot point from one of her books or videos the way she had done so many times in the last few months)

Just about falling off the chair, I sputtered out something like, "Yes dear?" or "yeah, Baby?" or "Charlotte?" or something like that. I was pretty flustered by hearing her little voice which was raspy from dryness and lack of use.

"Marianna (I think) put on her crown and ..." didn't understand the rest. I asked her to say it again but the moment was gone. Haven't heard her speak since then except to grunt "Mm Hmm" (yes) once when we asked her if she wanted some chocolate milk.

The reading vigil continues and it's become so much more than I ever imagined. I came up with the concept to have voices filling Charlotte's last few days with stories because books/words are her favorite thing in the world. Since she couldn't manipulate the books very well anymore and I knew we weren't going to be able to read to her all day so I figured we'd get other people to help.

What has happened is people from all over, some we've never met before, have come in/Skyped in at all hours of the day and night. Some of you have brought your children and have used the opportunity as a very healthy way to introduce them to the concept of death. Some of you have sent in recordings or videos of yourselves reading stories and the energy of this house has remained. The only thing missing is a Skype from Holland. (Let us know when you're available Karin. Needs to be soon.)

The food, which has become healthier (mostly), keeps coming in and the wine bottles have been multiplying. Rachel and I are determined to bring our physical selves (fat tubs of goo) back up to the level of our spiritual selves (growing ever more peaceful).

I helped with Winter Camp at Romp n' Roll this morning which was great. It was a total parade of cuteness and it was so nice to feel the warmth of the kids when they saw me. Next week we start back big time and I think I'll be taking over some of Rachel's classes for a little while. I think Samantha, Annette, and Emily (who have taken over the lion's share of work at Romp n' Roll) can't give up the responsibility and extra hours fast enough!

Speaking of Emily, she's gone and done a very cool thing. She is a student at Randolph-Macon College in the Drama Dept. and is directing the upcoming production of Alice In Wonderland. She has coordinated with Prof. Joe Mattys to donate all ticket sales to Charlotte's fund!

So go see it! :-) It runs March 17-20, 2010 at the Black Box Theater on R-MC's campus. Tickets are $5. Can't beat it with a stick! I'm thinking we might pick one of those nights to be CJSTUF Night Out At The Black Box. We'll let you know. Call(804) 752-7316 to reserve your tickets. It's a small venue and large crowds are expected every night.

Here's another thing coming up for runners/walkers. For anyone who wants to use the races for fund raising, we will have registrations available for the Ukrop's (What are they going to call it next year?) Monument Ave 10K in March and then more for the Suntrust Richmond Marathon, McDonald's Half Marathon, and HCAVA 8K in November. All those interested in participating who raise $500 or more in pledges will receive their 10K registration free. Not sure what the limit will be for the Nov races.

For the 10K, we will have pledge forms available very soon or you can make your own. Make sure all checks are made out to Charlotte or CJSTUF. For the November races, we hope to be a little more technically advanced. We're working on our own race accesories and everything.

Please let me know if you're interested in participating and what race(s) you want to be in. I'll be doing the 10K, the Richmond Marathon, and probably a few other races during the year. I even want to try the very questionable act of running the Chicago Marathon in October as well.

That's all for now.